Pill Ponderer Gifts

'Your problem is keeping things down. I want you to take this one pill four times a day.'

'Let me know if these weight-loss pills actually work.'

"The reason Zylofan costs so much is because they first made Pirolax, kbut it didn't work, so then they made Kivotor, and that didn't work, so they then tried Davicor..."

"Yeah, well, I'm not taking any goddam pill until I know what the long-term effects are."

"I'm out of purple pills. Can I take 1 blue and 1 red instead?"

'Any side effects of these sleeping pills?'

'I'm stupid Why have I taken a soporific'

Weight gain on the pill.

'You forgot you list of possible side-effects.'

Waiting for Pants

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

"All I take anymore is mushrooms for my anxiety, ketamine for my depression, and ibuprofen for the goblins constantly eating my feet."

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

'According to the latest poll, 64% of the public don't pay any attention to polls...'

Man sees hug capsules: 'Not to be taken Orally.'

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

'Jerry, The Hermans take the same pharmaceuticals we do!'

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

God answers what He thought were worldwide prayers for peas.

Are you aware? The Higgs Boson was thought to exist even through no one had seen it!

"NO I DON'T THINK YOU NEED LEGAL REPRESENTATION WHEN SAYING YOUR PRAYERS."

Various Birds of Pray.

Dr. McPhee discovers the Embarrassment Particle.

The mysterious world of ligand substitution

A man about to plug in a lamp looks at electric sockets on the wall that say 'Solar,' 'Hydro Electric' and 'Nuclear.'

'Can I trust a Doctor whose prescriptions have absolutely no side effects?'

"Hey, way to go! You invented both the disease AND the cure!"

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

"Hello! - Have you ever thought about changing your energy supplier..?"

'Are you a hypochondriac who has everything but your regular placebo isn't doing the job? Talk to your doctor about the new extra-strength placebo.'

Physicists at the Fourth Grotschlov Conference assembled to determine once and for all if light is a wave or a particle.

"We need a product that works like aspirin, but is a lot more expensive to buy."

"Well, you've fianlly done it! No more rainforest left!"