Pigeon Racing Fan Gifts

"Got any Gatorade? I'm a racing pigeon."

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

"Global warming is a great icebreaker."

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

Ice shelfie.

"Jeepers, I didn't know anything could gets so hot!"

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

'Why did the chicken cross the road?'

The polar olympics

'Freedom is nice, but I miss the Circus for the applause and the three square meals a day...'

'Hold it! Hold it!'

Man lets his pigeons out to be fed in the park.

'All she said was something about having rice for dinner and then poof!. . . She's gone!'

'Who would have thought there was a market for it? We're going to be rich George!...'

"Oh Goodie, more snow."

Penguins in the form of writing Pens

'Come on, you're telling me that you don't watch the Discovery Channel.'

Formula One car origami

'I read somewhere that going green would help save the ice caps.'

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

The Bagel Wheel Derby.

Pigeon Memos

Pig Trotter

'I'm working through the Summer as usual: I take my annual leave in Winter you see...'

"No, you didn't hear the soft rustle of a sandwich wrapper!"

'Ouch! I'm glad I didn't lay him.'

'Legend has it, he was known as the pigeon whisperer.'

Turkey Farm Inc: 'And guess what you get for a Christmas bonus?'

"Oh goodie, more snow! How frickin' original!!!"

Bird Messaging

Daily News Headline Dept. Editor. Here's a story about a guy who shaved his race horse to cut wind resistance, and the horse got a terrible sunburn. "A pony shaved is a pony burned"!

'You spoil those pigeons.'

Carrier Pigeons

"Finish your anchovies and then you can evolve."