Pier Jokesters Pillows

Fishing from a Fish

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

"What are you trying to tell me, girl? Are you hungry? You’re not hungry? The squirrels are skinny-dipping in the pool? Cats are making a hook rug out of your bed? You dug up Jimmy Hoffa?!" "Mitch liked messing with his dog's head."

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

'What, not even a kiss first?'

"The good news is that you will have a healthy baby girl. The bad news is that she is a congenital liar."

"That one's for higher-skilled plank walkers."

Peniteniary for the terminally silly.

Clerk: 'Boy that Delivery guy sure has a THICK accent!'

Practical joke, violent offender rehab center: 'Relate to me!'

'I can't make it, I'm dead.'

'We're all gonna have lovely hangovers in the morning!'

Third eye

"It's cardio day for me and external-obliques day for Joan."

Robot porn.

'Any idea why your boyfriend is handing out cigars in the pub?'

'Personal?...No, I assure you, my relationship with God is strictly professional.'

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

'What can we do for you?' - 'I need a song removed from my mind.'

'Unfortunately, Rex didn't realize he was about to pee on an electric fence...'