Sporting Jokesters Pillows

Goalie with oversized gloves.

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

Extremely Practical Jokes.

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

"What are you trying to tell me, girl? Are you hungry? You’re not hungry? The squirrels are skinny-dipping in the pool? Cats are making a hook rug out of your bed? You dug up Jimmy Hoffa?!" "Mitch liked messing with his dog's head."

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

'What, not even a kiss first?'

"Seriously, fellas, I can't get up."

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

Cleaning the Horse

"The good news is that you will have a healthy baby girl. The bad news is that she is a congenital liar."

Peniteniary for the terminally silly.

Bobsled Police.

Clerk: 'Boy that Delivery guy sure has a THICK accent!'

The USA football team goes on the offensive.

'I can't make it, I'm dead.'

Practical joke, violent offender rehab center: 'Relate to me!'

"Yes, but you're a half hour late in dog minutes."

'We're all gonna have lovely hangovers in the morning!'

"I feel so much more relaxed since I punched out my yoga instructor!"