Picky Princess Pillows

"Well, who's it from? I don't take blind submissions."

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

'Broccoli is biodegradable, you know, in case you want to throw it out before I eat it.'

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

"Please don't kill me."

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

'You had better eat those intestinal organs or there's no dessert for you!'

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

"Mummy said dinner was brussels sprouts tonight. What about we drop by the park and see if the old man sitting on the bench can feed us instead?"

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

"I'll have the vegetable lasagne, hold the vegetables."

"Mouse? No. They contain cheese and I'm lactose intolerant."

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

'Could I trade all of this for more of that?'

"Come on, honey, try just one Goliath pea. It's organic, locally grown, and GMO free."

'The prince and the princess lived happily ever after on their profits from capital-appreciation funds.'

"Life is so unfair! There are already ants in the cake but none in the broccoli casserole!"

"Trust me, it tastes good – you won’t like it."

'I say it's spinach and the heck with it!'

"Ed can't figure out if we're having our nails waxed and our faces painted, or our nails painted and faces waxed."

"It's an ugly nose, but at least it gets rid of some broccoli."

"Do you want the rest of this mouse? It tastes gamey to me."

'I don't want to eat this. I want to eat organic foods.'

"I'm sorry but I can't bring the dessert menu until you at least try to finish your peas and carrots, it's policy."

Beauty regime

"Hey Mom... we're all out of junk food!"

'He's very fussy about his food.'

"I'll have filet mignon, and she'll have the chef whip up something with no meat, dairy, wheat, soy or flavor."

"We are looking for the non-yucky apparel."

Teacher says to princess girl: 'You came here just to kis the frogs, right dearie?' She replies: 'Oh my gosh, quit dissecting my motives!'