Pickup Philosopher Pillows

"Forget it - she's out of your league."

"Trust me, Lew, if anyone knows where the salmon are jumping, she does!"

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

reincarnated worm...

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

He can lean back in contentment on cowslip banks and let everything wash over him.

"You don't whisper anymore."

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

'The secret to life, my friend, is hoppiness!'

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

Two Men Angler's In A Storm.

'He's trying to talk them into giving themselves up!'

"Have you consider the possibility that I don't want the paper?"

'As soon as I mention Nietzsche - stop serving me, okay.'

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

Grass: We lost some good men today!

"My husband is fishing. . ."

Continental Drift.

'We'll have a bed for you in a couple of days.'

'Not only am I a frequent flyer, I'm a frequent waiter.'

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

Dept. de Philosophie

"So, Ben, what do you want to be when you stop sponging off your parents?"

'I'd like to participate in gym class, but I'm afraid I'll get overheated and contribute to the global warming problem.'

TSA Lines

...Five ways for the cities-towns to raise money...