Pickup Artist Pillows

Closing time, and a man and a woman are checking each other out across the bar: 'Slim pickings.' 'Fat chance.'

"Hi. Obviously, I'm betting everything on the watch."

"Sure, we can have dinner. But only if your breasts sign a non-compete clause."

'To answer your question, yes, that is a salami in my pocket, and no, I'm not glad to see you.'

My name is Morton and I'm a nice man. So? Are you a nice woman? Can you believe this? I think I've discovered a whole new species of wimp! Actually, he's kinda cute...

'Wanna help make sure we don't become an endangered species?'

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

'I'm getting ready for mating season.'

Hi-I'm Dave. Hi-I'm off limits.

"I'm a breast and leg man, myself!"

The Quick Picker Up

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

"Why so grim, handsome?"

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

"The finger bowl is courtesy of the gentleman."

"I don't know 'where I've been all of your life', but wherever it was, I wish I was there now!"

"Forget it - she's out of your league."

'There's my place. Technically it's still a crime scene, but you're more than welcome to traipse through it.'

'Do you come here often?'

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

"Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't...."

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

'Your place or mine? Both. You go to your place and I'll go to mine!'

"Fancy crashing at my pad later, babe?"

"I get aroused when I see you in leather."

'You had me at hell.'

"Why do you wear green lipstick?"

'Hello, handsome - is that a Billy Cotton ringtone?'

'Did you just hear that? Scientist say we are now an endangered species and mating should be our top priority!'

"There's something different about you."

"Does it occur to you that the only thing separating us is a basket of bar snacks? And a flimsy basket at that?"

'I'm normally a leg man, but in your case.'

"But it wouldn't be premarital sex unless we got married."

He's Tasty!

"So, back to my place?"