Piano Procrastinator Gifts

'I'm sorry I didn't practice this week, Mrs. Tinklemeyer. I just had so many distractions!

"Three weeks until the pitch, LOADS of time!"

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

Desk Boxes: 'In', 'Out', 'Could Go Either Way'.

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"I'm waiting for my imagination to run riot."

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

"Don't open me, you fool!"

"I really start dragon around 3 o'clock."

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

'1001 things to do whilst waiting to get on the internet.'

"This next song's from the soundtrack to the film of the book I never got around to writing."

"And then, suddenly, it was 3 P.M., and she hadn't really got anything done."

The Graveyard of Past Deadlines

'A cyber-terrorist stole my homework. I have a note from the CIA. '

'I'm not lazy - just resting before I get tired...'

Working from home to-do list.

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

'I prefer to work vicariously as opposed to remotely.'

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

'On the other hand, if I never finish anything I can't be a complete failure...'

Al, The Go-From Guy

'I would've done my homework, but they kept saying 'stay tuned'.'

"Shouldn't you be studying?

"I hate going into a staff meeting without a clear exit strategy."

Invaders from Planet Manava.

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

The meeting will start a little late, intelligence is lost in the building somewhere.

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

"My five least favorite words in the world: By End of the Day Friday!"

"Get dressed and sculpt something already."