Piano Detective Gifts

Man looking for something in Piano.

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

Mou...Man trap!

"I'm astounded that your dog is channeling Eubie Blake! Has he never heard of Elton John?"

"Damn it—I told them I was too well known for undercover work!"

By the year 2500, 1 in 10 academics will devote their entire career to divining the meaning of the word 'sussudio'.

A spy

Deconstructionist girlfriend

"I appreciate you have a real passion for music Mr Hibberd. . . but I can see you're going to struggle with the piano."

"Marlowe filled the crooked gumshoe full of lead. He watched the smoke from his .38 coil in the air as he… mommy’s behind me, isn’t she?"

Edvard Grieg.

'That isn't true Mrs. Jones, I can find my ass with both hands. And if you want me to prove it, it'll be $150.00 a day, plus expenses.'

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

'That's the one that attacked me, officer! The one with the stupid look on his face!'

We have control of you brain.

He's mumbling again! What do you think husbands dream about?

Moby the Private Dick.

I spy with my little eye in the sky …

"Enough medical mumbo jumbo, just give it to me straight, Doc-will I ever be able to play piano again?"

'Can he play anything else besides 'Kitten on the Keys'?'

'Oh hell, there's a jam ahead!'

"Wake up, Jane! There's a giant talking squirrel at the end of your bed!"

Man and woman being spied on from their TV.

Top Secret

Today, this humble feature attempts to answer one of the great quandaries of modern times. Is it Louie Louie, oh baby, my hair gotta grow? Wrong! What are the lyrics to the Kingsman's Louie Louie?* *Must be gleaned by listening. No peeking on the internet!

"Greatest Band?"

'Believe me, they never know they're being tailed. We use a drone.'

'My theory is he's faking sleep in order to get the $50 for the study.'

For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

Moby the Private Dick: 'Ever get the feeling you're being watched.'

'...How could your wife possibly know we're in Venice?'

Spyware is easy to see, if you know where to look.

'I'll be able to play the piano in 2 days? Well I couldn't before the accident!'