Physics Professor Gifts

'How can you not know if your cat is dead or alive, Mr Schrodinger?'

"Ah ha! Every particle of matter attracts every other particle with a force proportional to product of the masses and to the inverse square of the distance...OUCH!"

'Benjamin Franklin - the awful truth...'

Department of Astronomy - 'You are here'

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

C. Doppler takes a walk.

"You can't jump into a pile of leaves without calculating maximum spread efficiency."

"Let's go into a black hole you said, it'll be fun you said...."

Newton's Cradle Solar System

'What's the ' Matter

"Studying friction is a real drag."

"Okay, that's enough Physics for one day. Take a break and chase your tails."

"You've got the research grant, but you have to turn over all your results to the energy department."

"There are, of course, exceptions to many laws of physics, even Newton's laws of gravity...consider, if you will, the Wonder Bra!"

"Papi, will you play build-a-model-rocket-so-we-can-calculate-acceleration-rates-and-thrust-levels-for-maximum-payload with me? Please?!"

"Mr Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy and have come to one conclusion: stick to physics.'

"But if you've given up on a fifth force, how can you possibly discover a sixth force?"

'Space is curved and time is relative, eh? -- Is this your way of asking for a day off?'

"Today we'll be discussing the Universal Law that explains why if you leave a basket of clean laundry in the same place long enough it will eventually look as if it belongs there."

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"Welcome to the future"

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

Ethics exam cheater.

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'