Mathematics Professor Gifts

Fig 1. Fig 2. Fig Newton.

"Tell us, in layman's terms, what your breakthrough means." "Certainly. K-4/7....5T"

"Some consider me the Pollock of calculus."

"I've been meaning to talk to you about your attitude, Kleinzweck."

'Professor Wilkins obviously doesn't understand my creative side.'

Mathematicians erase equation.

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

British savings accounts

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"Welcome to the future"

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

Ethics exam cheater.

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

Great Chinese Dynasties

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

Big Bang Theory.

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

'Hmph. College kids.'

Fear/Knowledge

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'