Mathematics Teacher Gifts

Deferential equations.

'We need to learn this just incase our calculators or computers are down, right?'

Turning with mathematical precision.

'No Jason, you can't call tech support.'

So on a scale of one to ten, how's I do? Can I use Fractions?

"I love the equation that describes the slope of your nose."

"The hardest to convert are inches to centimeters."

"My Y-variable obviously has a value inconsistent with the desired solution."

'If you go on a diet and lose five pounds, only to gain back ten the following month, how many infuriating, godforsaken pounds do you weigh?'

"...algebea is about figures, and right now, I figures I'll be seeing y'all next year."

"I know they say numbers don't lie, but what if they're wrong?"

"I'm Albert, your new mathematics teacher, but you can call me Al."

"I don't give a fig about Newton."

"We shouldn't hunt rabbits Dad, we should breed them! According to Fibonacci, we would then have an endless food supply..."

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist. George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

'Well well, for a rabbit, you're not very good at multiplying, are you?!'

"..So your line rental is �9.99 a month, you send three 'Wassuup's!!...at 5p each..."

The Last Jerseys.

"Are we allowed to pray?"

Schoolmaster asking pupil about interest

Math Class Rm. 200. I don't get it --- Algebra was invented thousands of years ago and "x" is still unknown!

6 x 3 = 18. 7 x 5 = 35. 9 x 3 = 27. 4 x 3 = 12. You say more people are watching your arithmetic classes? No, I said the audience is multiplying.

Math Dept. I can't move my hand to indicate "Hello" anymore. You mean your wave function has collapsed?

Welcome to algebra. As freshmen, you are the unknown variable X. After 32 years, I ask myself Y?

A Puppet Named Juan

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

Where your mind & battle are los

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

Ethics exam cheater.

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."