Chemistry Professor Gifts

'Every time he lectures about serotonin, he puts me to sleep.'

"You might wanna consider taking a refresher course. Penicillin doesn't come from mold, it comes from the pharmacist."

"Maybe Earth's primordial soup did contain polyester."

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"Welcome to the future"

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

Ethics exam cheater.

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

Big Bang Theory.

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

'Hmph. College kids.'

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

Fear/Knowledge

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

Eternal Student.

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'