Physical Humor Gifts

Man carrying crates of eggs about to step on sleeping dog.

'Ah! ... sorry.'

Banana Ballet

"Extreme miming"

'He's maturing early.'

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

Lola Knows More Than She Lets On

'My philosophy is that the bigger you are, the smaller the desk you need.'

Senseless clowning around

'Fred, didn't I tell you to wear a helmet?'

Accident-Prone Support Group.

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

"You folks ready to order?"

"The doctor will see you now."

"What already?! If it weren't for my extraordinary willpower, I'd be exercising right now!"

"Wait, that's not a star. That's just an alien whose phone has its flashlight on."

"Previously on..."

"He said, 'Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?' I thought that meant steer."

Check out my six pack.

"Not again!"

'My member requires some interest.'

John Cleese

Weapons of mass destruction.

An overweight lazy man chooses to exercise on a motorbike at a gym.

'I want to be the first person to land on the sun.'

Take up karate and learn how to break bricks with your cast.

Ed's Pizza and the Cardiology Clinic.

"We Don't Need Men. We Can Lick Our Own Vaginas"

'Poor, nearsighted Mrs. Dumas. She never dreamed she'd teed up her own egg.'

"A BCN DBLE CHZBRGR w/ FRYS"

'Aiiiiiir asteroid!'

Earthquake Research Society. The meeting's over already? Yep --- it was called to order at 8:00 and adjourned at 8:02 by a motion from the floor.

Sorry I missed you.

Starbucks closing 600 stores with 12,000 job cuts.

Paint Ball shop has artists painting balls.