Phone User Pillows

"...and don't fall for that trunk enlargement scam."

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

'It's one of these new phones that takes photographs.'

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

'Is this the new input device?'

The Predictable Demise of Sir Textalot.

"Dude, I'm losing you in this tunnel."

"I have an app for that."

'Okay, I'm going to make the phone ring just once, and I want you to refrain from picking up. Bite the towel if you have to.

Mobile phones and long distance relationships,

"He's so into social media that he's become anti-social."

Modern Narcissism

"Brat"

'When I was told our new computer was going to be state of the art, no one mentioned it was state of the art in 1954.'

"But, honestly, I've never been more serious."

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

"According to this tracking app, he's somewhere between Knick Knack and Paddy Whack."

"Well, at least one of us passed the emoji eye exam..."

'We'll have Bubba here check to see if we've idiot-proofed your computer.'

"Tap anywhere to begin."

"Can we wrap this up? Our phones need charging."

Pizza Delivery Delays

"What sort of mood are you in, Michael?"

'Would you stop with the Twitter alerts already? I'm standing right behind you.'

"OMG! The PDA was 2 much. I was lol. . . Oh, sorry Daddy, I'm just so use to texting!"

"When you said something about a stream, I thought you were talking about video."

RAISED BY PHONES

"The doctor said I've got 'texter's slump'."

"Can I call you back? I'm right in the middle of something."

"Ever since I changed Siri to a male he's been forgetting birthdays and anniversaries."

Evolution

'I'm too busy installing updates to figure out any practical application for them.'

"I'm not repeating the specials again until everyone puts down their phones."

Possible explanation for the tangled headphones