Cell Phone User Pillows

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

"You know, there are other emojis."

'It's one of these new phones that takes photographs.'

'Man, times have changed.'

'Is this the new input device?'

"Dude, I'm losing you in this tunnel."

"I have an app for that."

Mobile phones and long distance relationships,

"That vulture just appeared and started picking at my phone. My battery must have died."

"Brat"

'When I was told our new computer was going to be state of the art, no one mentioned it was state of the art in 1954.'

"According to this tracking app, he's somewhere between Knick Knack and Paddy Whack."

Office worker on desert island on cell phone: 'No, I haven't seen the minutes.'

"Well, at least one of us passed the emoji eye exam..."

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'

"What sort of mood are you in, Michael?"

'We'll have Bubba here check to see if we've idiot-proofed your computer.'

"When you said something about a stream, I thought you were talking about video."

'Hey Josh! This is the Grim Reaper calling. No really! I'm using all the new technologies now and, so sad, your minutes on earth - well, they're up!'

"You know, there are also some people who should never have children, hint hint...."

'With this plan, you get Sit, Down, Stay and Rollover minutes.'

"Ever since I changed Siri to a male he's been forgetting birthdays and anniversaries."

"I'm not repeating the specials again until everyone puts down their phones."

'I'm too busy installing updates to figure out any practical application for them.'

"Yes, I see where you left your phone."

Phone generation.

'Yes, Fluffy was a great dog and to honor her memory, we've decided to keep her name as part of our computer password.'

Possible explanation for the tangled headphones

"What I did during my summer vacation with my mom's 1,000 free minutes..."

'Of course I just retweet everything I see - I'm a parrot.'

"...and don't fall for that trunk enlargement scam."