Cell Phone User Pillows

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

"You know, there are other emojis."

'It's one of these new phones that takes photographs.'

'Man, times have changed.'

'Is this the new input device?'

The Predictable Demise of Sir Textalot.

I wish you kids would get off your electronics and learn a practical skill. Work with your hands! What does he think we're doing?!! Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap.

"Dude, I'm losing you in this tunnel."

Mobile phones and long distance relationships,

"I have an app for that."

"That vulture just appeared and started picking at my phone. My battery must have died."

'When I was told our new computer was going to be state of the art, no one mentioned it was state of the art in 1954.'

Go to settings, sounds, ringtone, whistle, who can hear this, then tap only me.

"According to this tracking app, he's somewhere between Knick Knack and Paddy Whack."

"Brat"

Office worker on desert island on cell phone: 'No, I haven't seen the minutes.'

"Well, at least one of us passed the emoji eye exam..."

"What sort of mood are you in, Michael?"

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'

'We'll have Bubba here check to see if we've idiot-proofed your computer.'

"When you said something about a stream, I thought you were talking about video."

'Hey Josh! This is the Grim Reaper calling. No really! I'm using all the new technologies now and, so sad, your minutes on earth - well, they're up!'

'With this plan, you get Sit, Down, Stay and Rollover minutes.'

"You know, there are also some people who should never have children, hint hint...."

"Ever since I changed Siri to a male he's been forgetting birthdays and anniversaries."

"Yes, I see where you left your phone."

Phone generation.

"I'm not repeating the specials again until everyone puts down their phones."

'I'm too busy installing updates to figure out any practical application for them.'

"What I did during my summer vacation with my mom's 1,000 free minutes..."

'Yes, Fluffy was a great dog and to honor her memory, we've decided to keep her name as part of our computer password.'

"...and don't fall for that trunk enlargement scam."

"I can't be sure, but I think Dracula is the bat holding the phone."

'Of course I just retweet everything I see - I'm a parrot.'

He donated his body to social science.