Cellphone Users Pillows

"The light is green..."

"You know, there are other emojis."

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

'It's one of these new phones that takes photographs.'

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

"Dude, I'm losing you in this tunnel."

'Okay, I'm going to make the phone ring just once, and I want you to refrain from picking up. Bite the towel if you have to.

"I have an app for that."

Mobile phones and long distance relationships,

Modern Narcissism

"Brat"

"According to this tracking app, he's somewhere between Knick Knack and Paddy Whack."

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

"That vulture just appeared and started picking at my phone. My battery must have died."

"Well, at least one of us passed the emoji eye exam..."

"Can we wrap this up? Our phones need charging."

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'

Pizza Delivery Delays

"What sort of mood are you in, Michael?"

"How does one experience the ultimate selfie? Swallow your cell phone."

"The doctor said I've got 'texter's slump'."

"When you said something about a stream, I thought you were talking about video."

"OMG! The PDA was 2 much. I was lol. . . Oh, sorry Daddy, I'm just so use to texting!"

"You know, there are also some people who should never have children, hint hint...."

"Can I call you back? I'm right in the middle of something."

"Ever since I changed Siri to a male he's been forgetting birthdays and anniversaries."

Evolution

"I'm not repeating the specials again until everyone puts down their phones."

"I can't be sure, but I think Dracula is the bat holding the phone."

'Of course I just retweet everything I see - I'm a parrot.'

"...and don't fall for that trunk enlargement scam."