Camera Phone User Pillows

'It's one of these new phones that takes photographs.'

Miserable selfie

'Nothing beats seeing your favourite band play live.'

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

Giraffe Selfie

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

'Is this the new input device?'

Man Reading Laptop.

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

The Predictable Demise of Sir Textalot.

Selfie World

"I have an app for that."

"But, honestly, I've never been more serious."

"According to this tracking app, he's somewhere between Knick Knack and Paddy Whack."

'When I was told our new computer was going to be state of the art, no one mentioned it was state of the art in 1954.'

"Brat"

"Well, at least one of us passed the emoji eye exam..."

"Actually, I work for a newspaper, but people won't talk to me without it."

Two reporters interview each other.

"What sort of mood are you in, Michael?"

'We'll have Bubba here check to see if we've idiot-proofed your computer.'

"How does one experience the ultimate selfie? Swallow your cell phone."

The director said 'cut'!

Self checkout and 'selfie' check out at a store.

"Ever since I changed Siri to a male he's been forgetting birthdays and anniversaries."

'For the last time, this is NOT a public art event.'

"I'm not repeating the specials again until everyone puts down their phones."

'I'm too busy installing updates to figure out any practical application for them.'

Possible explanation for the tangled headphones

"...and don't fall for that trunk enlargement scam."

"We love your desserts...they're the most photogenic in town!"

'Yes, Fluffy was a great dog and to honor her memory, we've decided to keep her name as part of our computer password.'

'Of course I just retweet everything I see - I'm a parrot.'

'He expects so much from me but his data is flawed.'