Phone Mishap Veterans Gifts

"This is a support group for phone victims. Frank butt dialed. Bib drunk dialed, Anne there talked bad about someone, but didn't realize she hadn't hung up..."

Barbeque Casualty.

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

"You need to turn down the vibration setting on your cell phone."

'Looks like another bad PR week for the company. The whole media team got burned in our last email blast."

'If you want to hear the ocean, press one.'

"If you want to talk to someone uninterested, press 1..."

"They're out to get me... I keep getting phone calls that say 'spam risk'."

"To hear the sounds of the seas press 1, for all other options, or, to speak with a customer advisor, please press 2."

"Deputy, round up a posse, I can't find my phone."

Due to higher-than-usual caller volume, your wait-time is nine minutes. That's over an hour in wolverine minutes.

"In the time I’ve been on hold with this collection agency, my debt has been bought and sold to another collection agency!"

"Did I just butt-dial my booty call?"

"I hope you don't think that music while I waited soothed me."

'And just FYI, I was a caterpillar when you first put me on hold!'

Oh, sorry, I must have butt-rubbed you.

"Your car warranty is about to expire..."

'He's lost his mobile phone - it must be in his chair somewhere!'

'You've stayed on hold for 20 minutes? Oh, dear! You'd better make an appointment with Dr. Willems to work on your self-esteem.'

"If you would like to listen to music while you are on hold press 1, If you would like some quiet time to work out how much this call is costing press 2, if...."

"Damn it—I think I just butt-donated to a charity."

'Not another powerpoint sermon!'

"Your meeting's over. You can relax you zoom face now."

Education Payroll: 'We're trying to resolve your salary problem or, at the very east, put you on hold for th rest of the day.'

"I spilt coffee on my machine again..."

"If you are angry at being kept on hold, press 1, if you are furious press 2, if you are apoplectic with rage ..."

"Just curious, Edward. Have you ever butt dialed another woman?"

If you would be willing to take a short survey at the end of this call, press "1". If you would like to risk being punished for not taking the survey by being kept on hold for an extra 10 minutes, press "2."

Ten Months Later

"Woopsee! Wrong button. And after you got through all those menus, too! Too bad. Good luck next time! hahaha!"

'I want you to file a malpractice suit.'

'This call may be monitored for training purposes, and you'll understand why when the tech can't answer your questions.'

"Bob, you dope—you typed 'Esther Island' into the GPS."

"Zoomed for five hours and my smile seized up."

'I can't believe you managed to drop your mobile phone!...'