Phone Misadventure Pillows

'He's lost his mobile phone - it must be in his chair somewhere!'

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

"If you want to talk to someone uninterested, press 1..."

Please use another building entirely

"To hear the sounds of the seas press 1, for all other options, or, to speak with a customer advisor, please press 2."

Call centre musicians

'Please hold for an eternity...'

'You know that's not what I meant when I asked you to take the dog out!'

"Why, James. James the Munificent. How good it is to hear from you."

"I should let you know, you accidentally forwarded THAT mail to me."

"You can stop holding sir, everyone has gone home."

Education Payroll: 'We're trying to resolve your salary problem or, at the very east, put you on hold for th rest of the day.'

"Just curious, Edward. Have you ever butt dialed another woman?"

'He's busy right now but if it's important I'll wake him.'

"You should never smuggle a phone in without first switching off 'vibrate'."

"This is a support group for phone victims. Frank butt dialed. Bib drunk dialed, Anne there talked bad about someone, but didn't realize she hadn't hung up..."

"Your call may be monitored to give us all a laugh . . . please enter your 23 digit telephone banking code followed by your 14 digit account no and your 24 digit security code. . ."

'I don't KNOW who I declared war on - It was a wrong number!'

"This is NHS direct.You are in a queue,approximate waiting time is 4 hours."

"I've been on hold through two cell phone bars."

"If you want to know what you cand do with your recorded message, press 1 now..."

Now here's a place I like

"I told him not to rely on his GPS when out running!"

'The number you have dialled is your own, you will be billed a $25.00 moron charge.'

'Murder? No, you've dialled L for Liposuction by mistake.'

"Sorry about pocket dialing you last night... And then pocket texting, and then pocket emailing, and then pocket leaving angry voicemails, and then..."

Anonymous Alcoholics.

'Damn! Another dropped call!'

'Wow... boss, that was a pretty sensitive caller! He said he can't talk to me because of my halitosis!'

'We wanted to introduce our system for blocking unwanted phone calls. . .'