Phone Call Fiasco Fan Pillows

'Murder? No, you've dialled L for Liposuction by mistake.'

'I'll get back to you when I'm myself, Eddie.'

Hello, Susie, it's R

'Office of not much budget, and even less management! Yomp speaking!'

"No way! You're a telemarketer?! This is so great – hold on, I want to get comfortable ... how did you get my number?"

Call centre musicians

Incontinence Hot Line - 'Please hold.'

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

Robinson Crusoe on the phone - "Big job. No problem, it'll be done by Friday."

You are on hold. Press One for Vivaldi...

"Hi! Is this Jesus of Nazarath, son of David? This is Stan. We're family! I found you on Ancestry."

Collar I.D.

'ARRRGH you idiot,you idiot!!' 'When i said take the Don out, i MEANT for lunch!!' (a stupid mob guy kills the boss)

'And then I said, 'So sue me!'...'

"Hey, I'd recognize your squeaky, high-pitched voice anytime."

'He's lost his mobile phone - it must be in his chair somewhere!'

Turkey Hotline

Greece & EU

"I said, that's my final offer, Carmody. Pressing the pound key for more options will get you nowhere."

'He's busy right now but if it's important I'll wake him.'

Karate School. Self-Defense. I can't believe you signed a contract for a full year of expensive karate lessons! I know --- I'm still kicking myself!

'Quick, Lassie, our credit cards are maxed! Get help!'

'I have just initiated your computer's auto destruct countdown.'

"If there's discrepancies in my tax returns, don't blame me. Blame the guy in the alley I paid $20 to do them."

'I'm sorry Jeeves, I'm going to have to let one go.'

STRIP Hambone: Cleaner answering the phone in office

'Please call customer services for assistance with your enquiry.' - 'Gah. Useless website!' - 'Press '1' for sales. Press '2' for customer service.' - '2' - 'Please visit our website at...' - 'Oh, you did not just say that!'

'I had a great day! I woke up 10 people, interrupted 28 breakfasts, 42 lunches and thoroughly ruined 21 dinners.'

Frantically overworked telephone receptionist getting severly stressed

"Your company has gone bankrupt and you've been imprisoned because we gave you bad info? Didn't your mom ever teach you not to trust strangers?"

"Do you mean to say that we have both been on hold for half an hour?"

'Actually, Mrs. Jenkins, I said to hold my calls!'

"Hello, is that the Samaritans?"

'I don't KNOW who I declared war on - It was a wrong number!'

'According to our bank statement, they're broke.'