Phone Dismisser Pillows

"I've asked you never to call me during naptime."

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

Busy office.

"Put your phones on vibrate. Maybe they'll keep you awake."

Addiction to mobile.

'I could text you...I can fax you...I can email you...I could ring you...Lunch?...I can't make it.'

"Your first job is to learn to recognize your boss' voice on the phone."

And the crowd goes wild—except for Mary, because she wasn't paying attention.

Even though I'm on the do-not-call-list telemarketers manage to ruin my hibernation again.

"....To hear those options again, press the pound sign, or click your heels three times to return to the main menu."

'You are naming your invention a telephone, Mr. Bell? That has a nice ring to it.'

'Yes, I'm really modern now. I use a cell phone and no longer need a phone booth.'

'Mr. Watson?.. Alexander Graham Bell here. I'm a first-time caller...'

'I hope you don't want to leave a message - he hates messages.'

'Never fails,,, The second we sit down for dinner,'

'Good morning, This is receptionist Susan, portal to the boss.'

He's listened to 'Mull of Kintyre' eleven times and he's still holding.

"Line one is on line two..."

'Can he get back to you - he's couch-surfing at the moment.'

"I forgot my phone."

'Every time you get ready to make a call, on your mobile phone, you reach for a comfortable chair. No wonder all that air time translates into large phone bills.'

"I only wish this was the final notice."

'I don't take telemarketing calls during dinner time. Can I call you back during your dinner time?'

'At the sound of the tone, please leave a message.. unless you're trying to sell me something.'

"Mr. Phelps is in conference. Hey, trust me."

"This whole time we could've been charging our phones."

"No, I'm not interested in a free ski weekend. Please take me off your call list."

"Water circulates in the same direction. Believe me...I've dropped my phone in toilets in both hemispheres."

"How many times do I have to tell, you, don't call me at work!"

"If you'd like to hear the options again, curse in any language."

"Woopsee! Wrong button. And after you got through all those menus, too! Too bad. Good luck next time! hahaha!"

'For the wrong department: Press one. . . for a patronizing excuse: Press two. . .'

Voice Jail

Right now, he's in his man cave.'