Phone Frustration Fighter Pillows

"I'm keeping count of how many robocalls I get. What's sad is I only started today."

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"He's so into social media that he's become anti-social."

"I'm considering going client side. That way I can still be an a*****e and actually get away with it."

And the crowd goes wild—except for Mary, because she wasn't paying attention.

"Tap anywhere to begin."

"Doctor, your client with the multiple personality disorder, is on lines one, two, three and four."

List making as therapy.

"Technology is addicting, but you're making progress. Now, hit exit - your time was up hours ago."

Telephone Phobics Society

Death can wait.

Struggling with unwilling computers.

'Can he get back to you - he's couch-surfing at the moment.'

"No one whose name is pronounced that way lives here."

"If you would like to listen to music while you are on hold press 1, If you would like some quiet time to work out how much this call is costing press 2, if...."

"Please stay on the line for the next available agent - unless, of course, you are feeling tired, very tired, or maybe hungry. . ."

"I'm going to put you on hold for a few minutes...to see if you totally lose it."

"I'm not angry with you, I'm angry with life!"

"Still won't start?"

"Go ahead, I can listen and text."

"iTunes never remembers my username and password. Such a power move."

'Yes sir, we still have Mr Edwards on hold from last thursday...'

Right now, he's in his man cave.'

Voice Jail

'If you want to pay your bill, press one. If you want to discuss your bill, press two. If you're frustrated because you can't just talk to a living, breathing, human being, press three.'

"I have to take this call."

Computers Support and Repairs: "We don't sell sledgehammers."

"This is NHS direct.You are in a queue,approximate waiting time is 4 hours."

Man and his phone both snoring.

"If you have a touch tone telephone, please choose from the following 12,847 options. . ."

When Cell Phone Users Go to Hell