Phone Frustration Fighter Pillows

"I'm keeping count of how many robocalls I get. What's sad is I only started today."

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"He's so into social media that he's become anti-social."

You guys were right! Screaming profanities is more satisfying than howling these days.

"I'm considering going client side. That way I can still be an a*****e and actually get away with it."

"Doctor, your client with the multiple personality disorder, is on lines one, two, three and four."

And the crowd goes wild—except for Mary, because she wasn't paying attention.

"Tap anywhere to begin."

List making as therapy.

"Technology is addicting, but you're making progress. Now, hit exit - your time was up hours ago."

Telephone Phobics Society

'This is the fourth single woman to attack the Valentine's display this week.'

Death can wait.

'Thank you for calling the Zepco mattresses hotline...'

"Please stay on the line for the next available agent - unless, of course, you are feeling tired, very tired, or maybe hungry. . ."

"I'm going to put you on hold for a few minutes...to see if you totally lose it."

Struggling with unwilling computers.

"If you would like to listen to music while you are on hold press 1, If you would like some quiet time to work out how much this call is costing press 2, if...."

"No one whose name is pronounced that way lives here."

'Can he get back to you - he's couch-surfing at the moment.'

"I'm not angry with you, I'm angry with life!"

"Still won't start?"

"iTunes never remembers my username and password. Such a power move."

"Go ahead, I can listen and text."

'Yes sir, we still have Mr Edwards on hold from last thursday...'

Right now, he's in his man cave.'

Voice Jail

'If you want to pay your bill, press one. If you want to discuss your bill, press two. If you're frustrated because you can't just talk to a living, breathing, human being, press three.'

Man and his phone both snoring.

"I have to take this call."

"This is NHS direct.You are in a queue,approximate waiting time is 4 hours."

Computers Support and Repairs: "We don't sell sledgehammers."

If that's for me, I'm not here. And even if it's not for me, I still wish I weren't here. Ring.

Whoever told you you should wait three days before calling a number you got from a woman in a bar was mistaken. You should wait three years.

"If you have a touch tone telephone, please choose from the following 12,847 options. . ."