Phone Frustration Warrior Pillows

Voice Jail

"He's so into social media that he's become anti-social."

'I'm sick of answering the phone - half the time, it's about business!'

"Your call is important to us. Your estimated wait time is less than five hours."

"Tap anywhere to begin."

Call Center.

'While on hold, press #1 for classical music. Press #2 for rock music. Press #3 for country music. Press #4 for...'

"Dave's away from his desk, I'm afraid. Can I take a message, or read you his browser history."

'My land line is always busy...that's my answering machine fending off robocalls.'

Death can wait.

"I hope you don't think that music while I waited soothed me."

'Thank you for calling the Zepco mattresses hotline...'

"Please stay on the line for the next available agent - unless, of course, you are feeling tired, very tired, or maybe hungry. . ."

"If you would like to listen to music while you are on hold press 1, If you would like some quiet time to work out how much this call is costing press 2, if...."

"I'm going to put you on hold for a few minutes...to see if you totally lose it."

'Can he get back to you - he's couch-surfing at the moment.'

"No one whose name is pronounced that way lives here."

'This is the technical support. To become connected to a service agent, please press the root of 576081, divided by three, times one point seven, mins 429.1.'

"I'm not angry with you, I'm angry with life!"

Assertiveness training - man answers phone; 'Can I get back to you? How about when I'm darned good and ready?'

"Go ahead, I can listen and text."

'Stop phoning me at work. I don't care if you have got a technical problem!'

'Just once I'd like to hand up on a wrong number before they hang up on me!

Cooling off period? I'm so cold I'll probably never use your company again!

“Something’s wrong with my android.”

'Yes sir, we still have Mr Edwards on hold from last thursday...'

'If you want to pay your bill, press one. If you want to discuss your bill, press two. If you're frustrated because you can't just talk to a living, breathing, human being, press three.'

"Hello, Mr. Gottlieb of Acme Telemarketing? Oh, did I interrupt your dinner...?"

Man and his phone both snoring.

"I have to take this call."

Angry telephone call.

"Is 'disgusted with the whole lot of them' a choice?"

"yetthhh, i hold..."

"Must resist...phone allure...of bilingual telemarketers!"

To hear Muzak while on hold, press "1." T have a spike driven into your ear, press "2." To end this call, press "3." To end your life, press "4."