Phone Frustration Navigators Pillows

"To talk to someone in Customer Service, press one, but we're pretty sure you'll want to hear our other 12 options. . ."

An Introvert's Guide to Surviving a Party

"You had the persistence to wind your way through our labyrinthian phone system to ask for an interview...you're hired!"

Paper being carefully folded until it resembles a scrunched up paper ball.

"Is it me, or does the old man still look angry at us for denting his Cadillac?"

"Try and stop me if you’ve heard this one before …"

"Boxing day is so boring."

Road signs.

"Oh, great—here comes that crazy #@!*%! Jeff who won't shut up about conspiracy theories. How's my hair look?"

"I know all about the birds and bees, but what's all this about 'erectile dysfunction?'"

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "My son's expressing curiosity about... well... you know." "I'm worried that maybe it's time to have the talk. How do I tell him about... you know... without making it seem like a good thing? I don't want him to go out and... you know." "I just want him to know how the... you know... works with the... you know... without making him want to go out and... you know." "Maybe you should buy him a book and call it a day." "I don't know..."

"Isn't there a TED Talk he can listen to about the birds and the bees?"

Excess Baggage: Most taxi drivers have GPS in their cars, but will still get completely lost when you are the passage.

''The birds and the bees'? — Why, son, they're the most dangerous animals known to man!'

"No one whose name is pronounced that way lives here."

"I'm not angry with you, I'm angry with life!"

'I am so very frustrated! It's hard for you to understand, but you don't know the golf course.'

"Come with me. I've found someone who'll talk square footage with you."

'Yes sir, we still have Mr Edwards on hold from last thursday...'

"Woopsee! Wrong button. And after you got through all those menus, too! Too bad. Good luck next time! hahaha!"

Labyrinth of bureaucracy

Voice Jail

'Sir, Tri - cities products on lines 1, 2 and 3.'

"Row faster, Manny- I just spotted my ex."

"Sorry, the 'GSOH' in my add stood for 'Got Syphilis On Holiday'."

Confusing Parking Rules

"Dunno - I just assumed that you would know what we were supposed to do..."

"Cruz? Why are you calling me Baldo's girlfriend? Is there something I should know?"

When Cell Phone Users Go to Hell

Conversation pit

"I recently recovered a crucial repressed memory. But then I forgot it."

"I don't like people knowing things about me."

"Cyberspace ate my homework."