Phone Menu Buster Pillows

"Woopsee! Wrong button. And after you got through all those menus, too! Too bad. Good luck next time! hahaha!"

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

National Coffee Day

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

'Now what? Everything I can pronounce is OFF!'

"I recommend number five if you have only $20 so that you can still leave a tip."

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

'Physical or Social Science?'

"How 'local' is the fish?"

What's the insect de jour?

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

"Ooh, that looks delicious! Does it photograph well?"

A menu with risks and benefits

"I can't have anything that's a food."

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

"I'm trying to decide between water and sunlight."

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

'I thought it was your figure you were supposed to be watching !'

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

"And here you have a brown thing next to something greenish, with some sort of brown runny stuff underneath it."

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

"A number of items on that menu are consistently chosen by an overwhelming majority of the American people."

Try our frogs' legs