Phone Menu Buster Gifts

"Woopsee! Wrong button. And after you got through all those menus, too! Too bad. Good luck next time! hahaha!"

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

National Coffee Day

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

'Now what? Everything I can pronounce is OFF!'

"I recommend number five if you have only $20 so that you can still leave a tip."

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

'Physical or Social Science?'

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

"Ooh, that looks delicious! Does it photograph well?"

"How 'local' is the fish?"

What's the insect de jour?

A menu with risks and benefits

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

"I can't have anything that's a food."

"And here you have a brown thing next to something greenish, with some sort of brown runny stuff underneath it."

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

"I'm trying to decide between water and sunlight."

"A number of items on that menu are consistently chosen by an overwhelming majority of the American people."

'I thought it was your figure you were supposed to be watching !'

Uh