Phone Menu Navigator Gifts

'For acall centre in Bangalore press 1 - for one in Hyderbad press......'

"Here, I'll call the credit department for you...you might wanna push 'seven' on here."

'For legalese, press three...'

'Say '1' to hear the ocean in English. Decir '2' a oir el ocean en Espanol.'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

'The path to becoming an astronaut is rougher than I thought.'

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

'Now what? Everything I can pronounce is OFF!'

"I recommend number five if you have only $20 so that you can still leave a tip."

I often thought that I should have been a weaver of words,someone who danced and sang his way into peoples souls and through my imagination led others into a world of dreams and intoxicating revelry...But auditing offered a much better pension.

'Why is it when you hit two keys by mistake, the one you don't want appears on the screen?'

'We stopped to smell the darn roses here!'

Homeless count.

"A number of items on that menu are consistently chosen by an overwhelming majority of the American people."

"You had the persistence to wind your way through our labyrinthian phone system to ask for an interview...you're hired!"

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

"I see you've arranged your life and business so that you can deduct everything. Do you know the penalty for 'trying to beat the system'?"

'It's a guess. I never said it was an educated guess.'

"....To hear those options again, press the pound sign, or click your heels three times to return to the main menu."

'The Chef's Salad isn't available today. She ate it herself.'

"Oh shut up."

"And then bear left at the war memorial, first right down Newton road and St Luke's is straight ahead."

'Your check? Certainly,sir -- would you like it itemized?'

'Careful,dear- don't order anything you can't pronounce.'

"The reason they seem so small is because you have all 12,000 employees on your Zoom meeting."

"Page 1 is 'Best-Sellers.' Page 2 is 'Advice, How-To, and Miscellaneous,' and on the back is 'And Bear in Mind.' "

'We could use a little divine guidance right about now, reverend.'

"Herbert, don't! This is a gourmet coffee shop! You order instant de-caf and there's going to be trouble!"

'Sorry mate, you'll have to ask someone else, I'm not from this area ...'

"Those are my unfinished connect-the-dots which I plan on finishing when I learn how to count past 10."