Phone Call Dramatists Gifts

"I'm passing thru a school zone...let me call you back from a land vine."

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

"Yes, I'm alone."

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

Performance In The Bedroom

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

Cold caller.

"I'll have to call you back. The cat looks really pleased with himself, and I gotta find out why."

"If you're annoyed by answering machines, press 1. . ."

'I'm still in conference, Miss Alsted.'

"That reminds me of the time Hamlet and I – did I mention I knew Hamlet? – Hamlet and I..."

Incontinence Hot Line - 'Please hold.'

'I called this emergency meeting to discuss the lack of respect I've been getting around here lately.'

'That's it! No more cameras in the courtroom!'

Overruled

"Her ladyship isn't in—wait, yes, no—so sorry, she's out."

'I called Louis XVI and Robespierre answered!'

'Get the stretcher! He's got a mole on his leg that looks a little funky!!'

'Never mind the dramatics, Watkins. Just read the treasurer's report.'

Stretcher Header.

"Why, James. James the Munificent. How good it is to hear from you."

"Hi, my name's Mike. I'm calling from the Government to let you know your Social Security Number has been suspended..."

'Sorry, I missed your call. . . I'm either goofing off at the fax machine or telling someone what I did over that weekend...'

"Le roi s'amuse. Now put your father on the phone."

"Operator, get me my hair!"

"Next Case."

Intimidating the witness

"All right. You can keep it as long as you're on hold, but then you have to turn it in."

'That's your misfortune, and none of my own, I'm afraid.'

'I'm on the train.'

'Those with center seats in the jury box are always the last to arrive.'