Phonatics Pillows

'I won't be checking messages on my home phone for a while, but if you need me you can reach me at my cell.'

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

Woman on the phone.

"My best friend is my phone."

' Once again, the name is Perry, with a P, as in pterodactyl.'

'Hello, Pastor Parker here. Thank you for calling moral support. Your call may be monitored to ... '

'He's not in now. This is his secwatawy.'

"Generally accepted accounting practices weren't as generally accepted as I thought."

"The time has come to reflect and ask ourselves... 'what would Jesus tweet?'"

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

'You have reached the Heisenberg Institute - Calls will be answered in random order.'

Gawk

Phonetic Man

Ralph Vaughan Williams

'I heard it was because of a broken charger.'

"You have reached the samaritans. If you are a farmer press one, a pensioner press two, small business owner press three...."

'Terrific commercial. I'm sold. You'll start on that medicine immediately.'

'My best attribute? That would be my glottal stop.'

'... So I'm standing near this old guy and he's using an old, giant cell phone-- I mean this thing is ridiculous! Hahahaha!'

'And I don't appreciate being left on hold,with Motorhead's 'The ace of spades'!'

'I can't believe I phoned my ex at 4 in the morning and go the wrong number. Still, if I look on the upside...it's lucky I didn't get the right number.'

"You're addicted to your phone and I think you need help."

Legends of Hold Music

'The alphabet in alphabetical order

"We can now tell the rest of the mice that after testing on lab humans, phones can be an addictive time waster."

Giovanni Pierluigi da Palestrina

Mavis didn't realise she was still on hold. . . !

"No...his mobile network has gone down."

"Instead of chanting 'Aum' can I keep texting 'Good Morning?'"

'Looks like he may be going deaf.'

"Hi. My name is Phrank. I'm hooked on phonics."

"This isn't a sales call? Aren't all calls, in the final analysis, sales calls?"

The Sequels

'You're hooked, Bobby, Hooked on phonics, And we're going to make you better - but this is contraband,'