Phishing Commentator Gifts

I'd rather be phishing.

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

"The Wi-Fi password is publish 'publish or perish'."

'Cartoonist thinking'

Presidential surveillance ass!"

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

"So I'm like, doesn't anyone speak proper English any more?"

Sports Radio in Crisis

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

Tree of Public Opinion.

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

Expressions of mystery.

"It's a baby. Federal regulations prohibit our mentioning its race, age, or gender."

And now, for a rebuttal.

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

Chess on TV

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comment section just solved the Middle East crisis."

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

"Actually, we will replace you."

"You have been specially selected to upload your bank details. Offer ends midnight."

The United States of Amazement

'I think its being tapped.'

"This is gonna be great!"

Sportscasters on the Savannah

"We understand you're not happy with our privacy policy."