Phishing Commentator Pillows

I'd rather be phishing.

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

"The Wi-Fi password is publish 'publish or perish'."

'Cartoonist thinking'

"But the good news is Trump has broken off diplomatic relations with them only on Twitter..."

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

Presidential surveillance ass!"

"So I'm like, doesn't anyone speak proper English any more?"

Sports Radio in Crisis

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

Tree of Public Opinion.

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

Facelook

Sir Patrick Moore.

Expressions of mystery.

"It's a baby. Federal regulations prohibit our mentioning its race, age, or gender."

And now, for a rebuttal.

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

"Hey Alexa, make it nice and easy for hackers to keep tabs on everything I do and influence my voting intentions."

'I think its being tapped.'

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

"Actually, we will replace you."

Chess on TV

"You have been specially selected to upload your bank details. Offer ends midnight."

The United States of Amazement

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comment section just solved the Middle East crisis."

"This is gonna be great!"

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

Sportscasters on the Savannah

"We understand you're not happy with our privacy policy."