Phishing Enthusiast Pillows

Those NSA folks sure take a lot of time off.

'Where was the TSA?'

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

A Little Extra

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

CCTV in church.

"Get used to verifications. In the court of the internet, you are presumed a robot until proven otherwise."

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

"I want one that detects intrusions by hackers, then blows their computers to bits!"

"Are you sure you updated the anti-virus software?"

"This is Alexander. He’ll be heading up our hacking division."

The Ayatollah Bomb?

'It's a foolproof computer network, sir, that no one can break into, not even a kid.'

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

'I think I set the security level, on my anti virus software, too high. Whenever I access anything it is automatically deleted.'

IT security.

'Computer crime seems to be on the rise.'

The ultimate Secret Service demotion. We're sending you to guard Mount Rushmore.

Holding the Line Against Terrorists with Midrange IQs

The prime minister: the current threat to national security...

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

'Principal McWit, a student without an appointment is here and says he's holding your computer access codes for ransom.'

'He's Barack Obama? I thought you said 'he brought a bomb on!''

'Don't worry -- the security camera is for your own protection.'

"You have been specially selected to upload your bank details. Offer ends midnight."

I'd rather be phishing.

'They take patient privacy so seriously around here they encrypt your name!'