Philosophy Pun Lovers Pillows

Statue Farts.

The Mud is a terrible thing to waste.

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

X-ray Psychology.

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

"He refuses to use these now they've made them gender nonspecific."

"Think about the honey."

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

"You've passed with extinction!"

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

A Brain Drain

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

'Is there a God? God knows...'

'Tell me more about your programmer.'

Hotness

Literate Dogs.

'Actually, I became a psychiatrist because the voices told me to.'

'According to his will, Tiddles left the bulk of his estate to himself. Because, he still has eight lives left.'

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

'Group hug anyone?'

'You give me goose bumps!'

"Your four-o'clock is here."

The static electric eel is very rare.

It's not a stampede … It's a flash mob!

"Waiter, there aren't any flies in my soup!"

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

"I understand you're famous for your tantrums."

Larry's Literary Market.

'We now have a drug to cure 'writer's block' but a common side effect is plagiaism.'

'It's for my teacher. Do you have one with love spelled right?'

'No, I said put the money in the Caymen Islands.'