Philosophy Professor Gifts

'Thank you for pretending you understand Kierkegaard.'

"The only problem I have with my belief system is that I always believe it."

Since you conduct only thought-experiments, we were hoping you would, from time to time, come up with some thought-results.

Lost and Profound.

The Little Engine that Faced a Tough Moral Dilemma.

"Who would like to discuss the concept of free will?"

"If a stock falls in the market and no one's around, does it really lose its value?"

'I know crime doesn't pay, Dean Fenton, but neither does being an adjunct educator of philosophy at a community college.'

Door sign states: Reincarnation studies Come again ... and again.

"If a tree speaks and no one hears it, does it exist?"

'Heidegger-Hi!'

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

'It's the moral highground occupation force.'

"I had a brainstorm at the Existential Marketing Seminar. What if we did nothing?"

Social studies.

"He'll read some Marx and some Freud, and he'll buy some stock. Then he'll read some Plato and some Tolstoy, and he'll sell some stock."

"OK...for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

Cogito Ergo Sum

Are you really here?

Philosophy 201: Readings from the works of Descartes, Kant,Spinoza, Plato, Sartre, Yogi Berra & Vince Lombardi.

"Everything with you is always, Kant, Kant, Kant."

Philosophy Class: Please Don't Think and Drive

I stink, therefore I am.

'Bogey of the left' "Play it again, Karl"

Academic Affairs: The Chair of Philosophy Corners the Chair of the Sciences

His films need to be viewed with a post modernist sense of irony...

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'

Truth or dare at the philosophy dept.'s lounge

Philosophy Test Today. This "Meaning of Life" question -- is that essay or true-false?

Department of Philosophy. Free Why-Fi.

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."

Student Loan Shark

Cartesian Chopped Liver

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."