Philosophy Graduate Gifts

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

'So what are you studying, young man?'

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

"When I get to Heaven, will I still have to clean my room?"

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

"I got all 'Cs', but I call that an 'A' report card...'A' for 'Average.'"

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."

Teacher's sign in Philosophy class reads: 'Think', Sign in Science class reads 'Thunk' as student falls over.

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

'It's the moral highground occupation force.'

"The answer you seek can be found in the syllabus."

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

'Well, so my grades are A,B,C,D... at least I'm learning my alphabet.'

'Idealist'

"OK...for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

"It was Socrates, wasn't it, who said, 'The unexamined life is not worth living'?"

'If your cell phone has five hundred minutes, and you use one of them during this class, how long will you be in detention?'

Lost and Profound.

Starving Philosophy student grappling with the question of the toast in the machine.

'Heidegger-Hi!'

Academic Affairs: The Chair of Philosophy Corners the Chair of the Sciences

"Must be the new philosophy teacher."

"He'll read some Marx and some Freud, and he'll buy some stock. Then he'll read some Plato and some Tolstoy, and he'll sell some stock."

'So, in college what did you major in' - 'Business poetry.'

Door sign states: Reincarnation studies Come again ... and again.

"I'm in a molting period. I'm shedding all of my French philosophers."

"Fetch and roll over weren't enough-then they sent me to philosophy classes."

Since you conduct only thought-experiments, we were hoping you would, from time to time, come up with some thought-results.