Philosophy Graduate Gifts

Actually, with bachelors degrees in philosophy, we were lucky to get this job.

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

Vote Centrist to Keep Things Exactly as Awful as They Are

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'So what are you studying, young man?'

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

"When I get to Heaven, will I still have to clean my room?"

"I got all 'Cs', but I call that an 'A' report card...'A' for 'Average.'"

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'

'It's the moral highground occupation force.'

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

Teacher's sign in Philosophy class reads: 'Think', Sign in Science class reads 'Thunk' as student falls over.

"The answer you seek can be found in the syllabus."

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

'Well, so my grades are A,B,C,D... at least I'm learning my alphabet.'

'Idealist'

Philosophy Test Today. This "Meaning of Life" question -- is that essay or true-false?

"OK...for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

"It was Socrates, wasn't it, who said, 'The unexamined life is not worth living'?"

Lost and Profound.

'If your cell phone has five hundred minutes, and you use one of them during this class, how long will you be in detention?'

Starving Philosophy student grappling with the question of the toast in the machine.

'Heidegger-Hi!'

"He'll read some Marx and some Freud, and he'll buy some stock. Then he'll read some Plato and some Tolstoy, and he'll sell some stock."

"Must be the new philosophy teacher."

Academic Affairs: The Chair of Philosophy Corners the Chair of the Sciences

'So, in college what did you major in' - 'Business poetry.'

Door sign states: Reincarnation studies Come again ... and again.

Department of Philosophy. Free Why-Fi.

"I'm in a molting period. I'm shedding all of my French philosophers."

"Fetch and roll over weren't enough-then they sent me to philosophy classes."