Philosophy Of Self Gifts

"Narcissus! That's a pretty name."

Leave your troubles in the bubbles

Window Treatment

I figured out how we can pay for the kids' college tuitions. Do tell. I'm going to leave for a year of self-discovery, which I will chronicle in a best-selling memoir. Oh, but

A woman is as young as she feels like admitting to.

"Nice haircut."

So You've Cloned Yourself

Gracie for Queen...of the universe.

City Zoo. They call us "anteaters" --- talk about stereotyping!

"What does she have that I don't?"

"It all started when I didn't grow up in a palatial estate."

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

'The baby took some cellphone pictures of you napping!'

"You'll get over him."

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

TV-Mirror.

"If I'm coming across as shallow, uncaring and egocentric, talk to my image manager."

'Cosmetic surgery.'

Seminar: Find Someone Cool to Imitate.

"I hope I'm single for Valentine's because only I fully know my worth in chocolate."

William Shakespeare Civil Court Judge. Well, you can legally change your name, but it won't make any real difference, Rose.

"Nobody wants to steal my identity."

"I am very comfortable with my bovinity."

It's no use, Glenn... We're trapped like - well... Like ourselves, I guess.

I've got a problem – with me. Counseling costs extra. I always hated BMW owners. But one day I woke up and realized I drive a Saab. People who vacation in the Hamptons give me hives, but I've got a summer spot in Santa Cruz. I protested against big corporate oil companies … wearing a North Face jacket and Nike high tops! Don't you realize what I've become? I'm an upwardly mobile hippy! Death to the huppy. Hates fancy coffee drinks, loves soy milk.

'Casper just lost twenty seven and a half pounds, but his head is just as fat as ever.'

'I've got a question. If your answer is 'Yes', I'll hate you. If your answer is 'No', I'll hate you, too. The question is, do you think I need a new dress because I'm looking fat in this one?'

"It's my self-portrait. Obviously."

"I was just talking to Charlie Rose in my head."

"I think I'll be more relaxed once my secondary sex characteristics kick in."

'Some boys think I'm pretty. Some think I'm ugly. What do you think?'

"Ed was at that awkward in between stage of letting his hair grow out." "C'mon. C'mon. C'mon..."

'He wants to look slightly mysterious and menacing.'

'I'd like to buy a frame that adds youth to a portrait.'

"Does this dress make my ass stick out?"