Philosopher's Happy Hour Gifts

'If you are a complete pessimist does it mean you are positively negative!'

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

Beers

Sally woke up with a headache. This house didn't look familiar. There was a rug burn on her forehead. Three good reasons to quit drinking.

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

'That reminds me of the blind date I had last weekend!'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

The Reaper's Arms

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

I'm freshwater. Make it a margarita without salt.

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

'Beer's more than just a food -- it's a comfort food!'

"It's really important to me, as an artist, to make you feel like drinking more than usual so I get hired back."

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

"There! Isn't sipping my Tropical Surprise more fun than arguing over some ancient sports trivia?"

"I gotta cut you off, Pierre. That's your tenth 'pretend Manhattan' since you got here."

"You're looking a bit RUFF this morning."

"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

'A quick pint or a quiet drink?'

"Another Martoonie?"

"I believe in the carrot-and-stick approach, Dempsey."

Meekness of Mr Pecksniff and his Charming Daughter

Goldylocks and the Three Beers.

"If there's been a constant theme in my life It's that I'm really thirsty."

"From the gentleman at the end of the bar. Again."

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

Pint

"You want your olive?"

"Another double martini, please. My sense of balance and proportion couldn't make it tonight so I'm drinking for two."

"I said 'neighborhood watch'; they said 'peeping Tom.' "