Philosopher Of The Sands T-Shirts

'What really worries me is that I was never baptized.'

"Nation-building never works."

'You lifted your head.'

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

"Ooooh, I bet that feels nice."

Academics At The Beach: The Old Man And The Sea

Kid to fellow fisherman: 'Why do they stink like fish when they've been bathing this whole time?'

Goldfish bowl on raft...

'Still think nuclear testing is harmless?'

"Take your first left and then keep turning left until you eventually float to the top."

A Poem about Sand

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

"It ain't easy, Doc. There's a lot of pier pressure."

'How's the water, dear?'

'...the really big ones can be found.'

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

"We're not on vacation anymore. The company folded."

How Relaxing It Is To Go To The Beach. . . How Close You Live To The Beach.

'Perhaps we should leave details of the divorce settlement until after we are married.'

"So I leave eggs on the ground, and then you come along and drop your whatever on them? That's your idea of romance?"

"Alarmingly, after five minutes the pool had come no closer."

Mozart on a lilo

'Wow, swimming IS great exercise! The bathroom scale I put down here shows I'm 20 pounds lighter!'

"I like anything but long walks on the beach."

Artist Misses the Point

'Despite anosmia she fonded her penuche.'

"Don't be afraid of sharks. They generally attack only when provoked."

"You're overthinking this."

How swimmers look and feel after a long swim.

As the years passed, Grandpa became more absent minded...

'Have you ever wondered how deep the ocean would be without sponges?'

Fish Food

"9-1-1, I'd like to report a great idea for a podcast."