Beachfront Philosopher T-Shirts

"The oceans rose another quarter inch this year."

"Nation-building never works."

"Ooooh, I bet that feels nice."

Goldfish bowl on raft...

Academics At The Beach: The Old Man And The Sea

Kid to fellow fisherman: 'Why do they stink like fish when they've been bathing this whole time?'

He can identify a fly taken by a trout at fifty yards range.

'Still think nuclear testing is harmless?'

Of pitting his own wits against their natural cunning

"Take your first left and then keep turning left until you eventually float to the top."

A Poem about Sand

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

"It ain't easy, Doc. There's a lot of pier pressure."

'How's the water, dear?'

'...the really big ones can be found.'

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

"We're not on vacation anymore. The company folded."

How Relaxing It Is To Go To The Beach. . . How Close You Live To The Beach.

'Perhaps we should leave details of the divorce settlement until after we are married.'

"So I leave eggs on the ground, and then you come along and drop your whatever on them? That's your idea of romance?"

"Alarmingly, after five minutes the pool had come no closer."

Mozart on a lilo

"The perfect killing machine? Is that all I am to you?"

Fish near-death experiences.

'Wow, swimming IS great exercise! The bathroom scale I put down here shows I'm 20 pounds lighter!'

'Can't you ever forget work?'

'Despite anosmia she fonded her penuche.'

"Don't be afraid of sharks. They generally attack only when provoked."

Artist Misses the Point

"You're overthinking this."

How swimmers look and feel after a long swim.

"But if you teach him to fish, you have fed him for a lifetime."

As the years passed, Grandpa became more absent minded...