Beach Philosophers T-Shirts

'Just because we're stranded doesn't mean I'm not your attorney and that these aren't billable hours.'

"Nation-building never works."

"Ooooh, I bet that feels nice."

Academics At The Beach: The Old Man And The Sea

Kid to fellow fisherman: 'Why do they stink like fish when they've been bathing this whole time?'

'Still think nuclear testing is harmless?'

"Take your first left and then keep turning left until you eventually float to the top."

A Poem about Sand

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

"It ain't easy, Doc. There's a lot of pier pressure."

'How's the water, dear?'

"We're not on vacation anymore. The company folded."

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

How Relaxing It Is To Go To The Beach. . . How Close You Live To The Beach.

'Perhaps we should leave details of the divorce settlement until after we are married.'

Mozart on a lilo

"Alarmingly, after five minutes the pool had come no closer."

"The perfect killing machine? Is that all I am to you?"

'Wow, swimming IS great exercise! The bathroom scale I put down here shows I'm 20 pounds lighter!'

Fish near-death experiences.

'Despite anosmia she fonded her penuche.'

"You're overthinking this."

As the years passed, Grandpa became more absent minded...

"Don't be afraid of sharks. They generally attack only when provoked."

Artist Misses the Point

"But if you teach him to fish, you have fed him for a lifetime."

How swimmers look and feel after a long swim.

Fish Food

Senior Investment Analyst R.G. Thornhill glimpses the Universe in a grain of sand and is not impressed.

"9-1-1, I'd like to report a great idea for a podcast."

Sigh...things wear oud, dust collects, people die... Why can't you just relax and enjoy life? Because one thing really worries me... Reincarnation, right? ou know me too well, woman.

'The shrink said my holiday was hereditary - my family.'