Philosopher Of Fortunes T-Shirts

"Sometimes it's good to just pause and reflect on how obscenely rich we are."

'You can't take it with you so I'm sending it on ahead.'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

'It's crunch time, Caldwell. That's the time between when you're born, and when you make your first million.'

Flat tax - equal burden?

Stockbroker and Psychotherapist: Money won't make you happy and therapy won't make you rich.

Fortune cookies based on various business magazines.

Money god

"I was a stockbroker first, but when I realized how much time I spent praying, I figured, what the heck?"

"Yes, I am interested in taking a fresh look at my holdings."

'We need people who dream the impossible dreams - like pensions and health care.'

"Money is life's report card."

Economic Downturns

'We were in the right place at the right time but, unfortunately, we were in the wrong time zone.'

'I got a big refund on my income tax.'

"Lucky for you, you died during a bear market."

"Stocks edged lower on the news there's more to life than the accumulation of material things..."

Accountant Manqué

Portfolio, 2014 - For a richer enjoyment, allow to age.

'I think you need to reboot your fiscal compass.'

'If congress regulates obscene bonuses, isn't that a violation of the first amendment?'

'Well they often get it wrong.'

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

"I hope you love me for my money, not for who I am."

'We do spend a lot and tax a lot, but it's the price you pay for living in a money-based economy.'

"The red bars represent the obscene numbers this quarter. The black bars are censoring those red bars."

'I'm a 100% consistent investor. I buy bonds when I should buy stocks when I should buy bonds.'

'It may seem we're sinking deeper into debt, but really we're just experiencing a quarter of negative growth.'

The Best Laid Plans

'If money doesn't grow on trees, why do banks have branches?'