Family Fortune Philosopher T-Shirts

'Someday, son, all this will be divided among your ex-wives.'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

'It's crunch time, Caldwell. That's the time between when you're born, and when you make your first million.'

'My ambition used to drive the economy. Now it drives my Mercedes.'

"I don't know...sometimes I think I don't spend enough time with them. What kind of role model am I?"

Flat tax - equal burden?

Stockbroker and Psychotherapist: Money won't make you happy and therapy won't make you rich.

"I consider every member of our family to be like family."

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

Money god

"Money is life's report card."

"Yes, I am interested in taking a fresh look at my holdings."

Fortune cookies based on various business magazines.

Economic Downturns

"I was a stockbroker first, but when I realized how much time I spent praying, I figured, what the heck?"

'I got a big refund on my income tax.'

"Stocks edged lower on the news there's more to life than the accumulation of material things..."

"The problem with capitalism is the unequal sharing of wealth. The problem with socialism is the equal sharing of wealth..."

"Lucky for you, you died during a bear market."

Accountant Manqué

'We'll never understand these kids. It's the old evolution gap.'

'If congress regulates obscene bonuses, isn't that a violation of the first amendment?'

'We do spend a lot and tax a lot, but it's the price you pay for living in a money-based economy.'

"I hope you love me for my money, not for who I am."

'It's time you learned, son - in-laws and outlaws aren't necessarily opposites.'

"Before we start, does anyone fancy a bet on the outcome?"

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

Portfolio, 2014 - For a richer enjoyment, allow to age.

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

'I'm a 100% consistent investor. I buy bonds when I should buy stocks when I should buy bonds.'

"If that income is personal, why do I have to tell you about it"?