Philosopher Of The Sands Gifts

'What really worries me is that I was never baptized.'

"Nation-building never works."

'You lifted your head.'

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

"Ooooh, I bet that feels nice."

Academics At The Beach: The Old Man And The Sea

Kid to fellow fisherman: 'Why do they stink like fish when they've been bathing this whole time?'

Goldfish bowl on raft...

'Still think nuclear testing is harmless?'

"Take your first left and then keep turning left until you eventually float to the top."

A Poem about Sand

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

"It ain't easy, Doc. There's a lot of pier pressure."

'How's the water, dear?'

"We're not on vacation anymore. The company folded."

How Relaxing It Is To Go To The Beach. . . How Close You Live To The Beach.

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

'...the really big ones can be found.'

Mozart on a lilo

"Alarmingly, after five minutes the pool had come no closer."

'Perhaps we should leave details of the divorce settlement until after we are married.'

"So I leave eggs on the ground, and then you come along and drop your whatever on them? That's your idea of romance?"

'Wow, swimming IS great exercise! The bathroom scale I put down here shows I'm 20 pounds lighter!'

'Despite anosmia she fonded her penuche.'

How swimmers look and feel after a long swim.

Fish Food

Lemmings on Vacation

As the years passed, Grandpa became more absent minded...

"Don't be afraid of sharks. They generally attack only when provoked."

"IBM up 2 1/4, ATT down a 1/4,GM ... "

'Have you ever wondered how deep the ocean would be without sponges?'

Artist Misses the Point

"You're overthinking this."

"I like anything but long walks on the beach."