Polar Desert Philosopher T-Shirts

A cactus growing on an igloo

"Nation-building never works."

"Ooooh, I bet that feels nice."

Academics At The Beach: The Old Man And The Sea

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

'Still think nuclear testing is harmless?'

"Life after death"

"Do you think the birds like me?"

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

A Poem about Sand

"Tracks of black bear cub... Tracks of black bear mother... Tracks of Henry David Thoreau."

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

"It ain't easy, Doc. There's a lot of pier pressure."

'How's the water, dear?'

"We're not on vacation anymore. The company folded."

How Relaxing It Is To Go To The Beach. . . How Close You Live To The Beach.

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

'All this is nuthin! There was one yeaw up noth...when it snowed fah two yeaws! I had t'dig down ten feet t'haul in my lobstah traps.'

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

"Alarmingly, after five minutes the pool had come no closer."

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!!"

'Perhaps we should leave details of the divorce settlement until after we are married.'

Mozart on a lilo

'By George, this one I think I'm going to like!'

The Farmer Sutra.

"I love the way it blurs the boundary between inside and out."

'Wow, swimming IS great exercise! The bathroom scale I put down here shows I'm 20 pounds lighter!'

'Despite anosmia she fonded her penuche.'

As the years passed, Grandpa became more absent minded...

Artist Misses the Point

"You're overthinking this."

'I became a bit claustrophobic living in a warren all the time: I prefer camping out now...'