Polar Desert Philosopher T-Shirts

A cactus growing on an igloo

"Nation-building never works."

"Ooooh, I bet that feels nice."

Academics At The Beach: The Old Man And The Sea

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

'Still think nuclear testing is harmless?'

"Do you think the birds like me?"

"Life after death"

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

"Tracks of black bear cub... Tracks of black bear mother... Tracks of Henry David Thoreau."

A Poem about Sand

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

"It ain't easy, Doc. There's a lot of pier pressure."

'How's the water, dear?'

How Relaxing It Is To Go To The Beach. . . How Close You Live To The Beach.

"We're not on vacation anymore. The company folded."

'All this is nuthin! There was one yeaw up noth...when it snowed fah two yeaws! I had t'dig down ten feet t'haul in my lobstah traps.'

"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

The Farmer Sutra.

'By George, this one I think I'm going to like!'

'Perhaps we should leave details of the divorce settlement until after we are married.'

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!!"

"Alarmingly, after five minutes the pool had come no closer."

Mozart on a lilo

"I love the way it blurs the boundary between inside and out."

'Wow, swimming IS great exercise! The bathroom scale I put down here shows I'm 20 pounds lighter!'

'Despite anosmia she fonded her penuche.'

"IBM up 2 1/4, ATT down a 1/4,GM ... "

As the years passed, Grandpa became more absent minded...

"But if you teach him to fish, you have fed him for a lifetime."

"Don't be afraid of sharks. They generally attack only when provoked."