Philosopher In The Bathroom Pillows

WC Thinker

'I know it's a bit unusual, but that's where he gets all the best ideas.'

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

"All this namby pamby nonsense about stress...I've been stressed for YEARS and it's never done ME any harm... " "But you're only 25!"

'In my opinion, you're either part of the problem or part of the solution. Unless, of course, you're Jones, who thinks he can just float above it all!'

"Hydro density appartus invention? Go away - I'm not disturbing his bath for that!"

"I've been having stomach problems. I sit on the bathroom for 30 minutes in the morning...and a half-hour in the evening."

An idea box in a shower

Water power.

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

'Wow, look at all these prescription drugs that are out of date.' FLUSH 'Happy as clams explained.'

"Ah, the waiter ... And I was beginning to wonder if we really existed!"

Rutger Shower

'I take a cold shower every morning... right after my daughters have taken hot ones.'

'I wanted shorter hours, so he cut my breaks.'

"OMG!"

Vanity artist

Man trapped in bubble from bubble bath.

'It's been a rough day, my shirt button fell off, the handle of my brief case came off... I'm too scared to go to the bathroom!'

With his mothers persuasion, Joe decided to 'come clean' to the police!

"When it takes longer to wash your face, you're getting bald."

I've got a new theory, Randy, and it's going to shock the world. Why? Because it's pretty much irrefutable. You know how when you're in the bathroom, it feels like five minutes have passed … but to those waiting to use it, it feels like forever? Yes … And you know how when you're at the event horizon of a black hole, five minutes to you actually is forever to the rest of the universe? ... I think we'd better alert Neil Degrasse Tyson. I call it the Time Toilation Theory.

"Well, it's another brand-new day. What do you say to getting up and looking the damn thing straight in the eye?"

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

Everyone has a good novel inside them.

"I have to admit, Donald is a little possessive."

I guess Grandpa was once a wise king, too. He always says he does his best thinking on the throne.

Shocked bather sees space-time singularity forming in bathtub drain.

'I. Am. So. Embarrassed! How long have I been sitting across from him with that stuck in my teeth?'

"I do my best thinking in the shower... do I need to run 5 miles a day in order to take one?"

Wash hand before making sound of one hand clapping.

'If they don't want me drinking out of the toilet, what's this roll of napkins for?'

"2 glasses of wine at lunch, I think I'm Socrates..."

'Ecce homo!'