Philip Roth Fan Gifts

"Well, Portnoy, if you have a complaint, let's have it out right here and now."

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

'Yes, all at once!'

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

'This wasn't quite the fairytale ending that Colin had anticipated...'

'I don't care what the Hares have. Dial-Up is good enough for us!'

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

"Eat my dust!"

Thomas Hardy

A man with Dwarfism is reading Little Women.

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

Frankenstein's Ancestry

Gulliver's other travels.

"Yes, could you discuss the inspiration for the protagonist? Specifically, the motivations which propel the direction of his narrative?" "I would prefer not to." "Bartleby, the author."

"It all happened so fast. 'Notable Book of the Year' to the remainder shelves to HERE in just six months!"

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

'It looks to me like they come in peace.'

Mom dwarves.

'Have you tried a licensed health practicioner?'

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

"I wish you would actually sell one of these novels...all these returned manuscripts are giving me backaches!"

Drug Testing Unit: 'Uh Oh!'

'Thanks to the internet, I can telecommute a few days a week now: I don't need to waste so much time travelling...'

'Take Gerald a cup of punch or something, I think he's feeling left out.'

The tortoise and the hare are in a shoe store trying on shoes in preparation for their race.

"I think feeling a certain amount of anxiety over the up coming race with the Hare is perfectly normal!"

"I didn't hear the full story, but you came from either the stork or ebay."

Yeah, yeah, yeah - tell my editor the fables are almost done, and she'll have them as soon as

Keri Hulme

Updated Fairy Tales Cinderella. My lawyers won't let me do glass slippers anymore --- Too many liability issues.

Louisa May Alcott

Other Fiction

"Hey, do we have strawberries crushed in cream cheese?"