Phantom Enthusiast Pillows

"Pizza delivery for The Phantom."

BEWARE OF DOG

"So besides opera and lurking, what do you do to relax?"

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

Ghost School.

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

"It is we."

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

Horror Stories.

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

..and with our new spirit website you can keep in touch with all your dead friends!

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

"Want to find out if you're also king of the swamp?"

'There's an imposter among us!'

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

"The Ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades and spirits. All others report to be spook resources. Bonuses will be based on team work and synergy."

'Egad! It's the ghosts of sanity past!'

'It's only the library ghost - he was a great poet but a failed novelist.'

'Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!'

'It's only fair Geraldine. I had to meet your parents.'

"At long last we've discovered evidence of a poultrygeist!"

Cloning Laboratory: 'I never thought I'd work here.'

"Lately, I've become more spiritual, and less religious."

"When I grow up I'm going to be a ghost writer."

'And now for the anesthesia: I've got plenty of conventional anesthetics I could use here but you can also choose to spend half an hour on the phone with my mother...'

Ghosts from around the world

Haunted museum

The response of a spirit during a seance is in fact an annoyed neighbour.