Phantom Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Pizza delivery for The Phantom."

BEWARE OF DOG

"So besides opera and lurking, what do you do to relax?"

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

Ghost School.

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

"It is we."

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

Horror Stories.

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

"Want to find out if you're also king of the swamp?"

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

..and with our new spirit website you can keep in touch with all your dead friends!

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

'Egad! It's the ghosts of sanity past!'

"The Ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades and spirits. All others report to be spook resources. Bonuses will be based on team work and synergy."

'Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!'

'It's only fair Geraldine. I had to meet your parents.'

'It's only the library ghost - he was a great poet but a failed novelist.'

"At long last we've discovered evidence of a poultrygeist!"

Cloning Laboratory: 'I never thought I'd work here.'

'And now for the anesthesia: I've got plenty of conventional anesthetics I could use here but you can also choose to spend half an hour on the phone with my mother...'

"When I grow up I'm going to be a ghost writer."

"I cloned myself to take care of my Thanksgiving duties while I watch football in peace."

"I'm the ghost of Christmas Tree Future, and honestly, it doesn't turn out well for you."

"You put it on backward, dear."

'Office of P.G.Barley and Clones'

Asteroid Bennu