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"Give me a minute, this is my first time haunting a walk-up."

Phantom Limb Syndrome

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

"Sorry I'm late. The traffic was murder."

Travelling with child

"Come on, Tom ... get an afterlife, will ya?"

"I have a boo boo."

"The old ghost train wasn't scary enough."

'George's poltergeists are terribly clever, they assembled the coffee table for us.'

"Are you serious? C'mon...you're pulling my chain."

'I know you're lying - I can see right through you.'

Ignore him. It's the Lying Dutchman.

Haunted House Party.

Solomon frightened by a ghost

"I'm here. My sheet is in the wash."

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

Ghost School.

"He's gone goth"

"Nevermore." "You don't have to use 'air quoths' every time."

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

Giant Monster in Bath

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

"It's called, 'Goth'."

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'

'Maybe fruit flies don't have souls.'

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

Ghostship

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

Trilby - 'Oh my poor girl! my poor girl!'

"What'd you think the zipper on my face was for?"

Vampire baby in 'Grav-co' stroller.